Archive for August 21, 2015

Turkiye`den sag salim donduk. Ilk hafta sonunda benim Montessori kursum vardi. Cumartesi, Pazar kursa gittim. Pazar gece saat 12 gibi Sydney`e uctuk. Gidis 3 saat surdu. Donus 5,5 saat. Meger ruzgara dogru uctugumuz icin boyle bir fark oluyormus. Sydney`de bir gece kaldik. ABD konsoloslugunda islerimizi hallettik. Hazir kurayi kazanmisken alalim dedigimiz su green kart`i aldik sonunda. Tam filmlerdeki gibi guvenlikciler, korumalar, camdan duvarin arkasindaki memurlar, ortam, vs. pek sevimsizdi. Gider miyiz gitmez miyiz belli degil ama artik green kart`imiz da var. Neyse, Sydney`de iki gun boyunca ne kadar gezebileceksek gezdik. Hava soguktu. Sydney ayni istanbul gibi buyuk. Bana kalabalik, yogun ve karmasik geldi. Mesela bindigimiz otobuste aynen Nuh`un gemisi gibi her cesit insan vardi. Asiri uclardan hoslanmayan ben icin biraz urkutucu bir durum bu kadar degisik tipleri gormek. Gercekten, her renk, her irk, her dusunceden ve her akimdan insan gormek mumkundu sokaklarda. Durum boyle olunca bizim gibi gocmenler tabi daha az yabancilik cekiyor. Herkesin aksani vardi, yani kimse oranin yerlisi degil gibiydi. Sehir merkezi kutu icindeki bir labirent gibi, yuksek binalardan gokyuzu gorunmuyor. Aralarda birkac tane cok guzel park ve yesil alan var. Kemal`e sorarsaniz Perth`ten cok daha iyi, bana sorarsaniz Perth`u hic bir seye degismem. Neyse 2 gunluk izlenimlerimiz bu kadar. Ertesi hafta sonu yine kursum vardi. Bir yandan da Realestate`te bizim civardaki satilik evlere bakiyoruz. Kursun cikisinda zar zor bir Home Open`a yetistik. 5 dakika icinde yine super hizli eve baktik. Fiyat bizim mahalle ortalamasina gore duusktu ve evin ici de cok guzel yapilmis, sorunsuzdu. Ertesi gun Kemal`le konustuk, 579 bine satisa cikan eve 550 teklif edelim belki verirler dedik. Randevu alip emlakciya gittik. Dusuk teklifte bulunacagiz ama offer yapmanin prosedurleri nedir filan diye sorduk. Emlakci cok seker bir adamdi bize 1,5 saat boyunca herseyi anlatti. Sonra ona verecegimiz teklifi soyleyince, siz bilirsiniz ama toplamda 6 teklif var, bu gece de teklifleri ev sahibine goturecegim. Eger bu evi gercekten sevdiyseniz, almak istiyorsaniz 595 in altinda pek bir sansiniz olmaz dedi. Orda tabi insan garip duygular icinde oluyor. Zaten 1,5 saat sonra insanin kafasi corba olmus. Neyse Ben 550 nin ustunu cizip 560 yazdim. Adam ben sadece bin dolar yuzunden bitisigimdeki evi satin alamadim, eger alsaydim simdi o toplam arsaya 15 daire dikebilirdim, isterseniz biraz daha dusunun filan dedi. Bu sefer de Kemal 580 yaz dedi, ben de yazdim. Neyse gece telefon geldi. emlakci bize teklifi 10 bin daha yukseltebilecek miyiz diye sordu. Hayir biz de bu son fiyatimiz dedik. Ertesi gun haber geldi, ev sahibi bizi secmis. Emlakcinin dedigine gore bizden 10 bin daha fazla oneren bir yatirimci varmis ama ev sahibi bir aile yasasin deyip bizi secmisler. Ne kadar dogru bilmiyorum ama aklimdan acaba daha dusuk teklif etseydik de bizi secerler miydi diye gecirmeden duramiyorum. Uzun lafin kisasi eve verdigimiz teklifin kabul edilmesi ile uykularimin kacmasi bir oldu. Kemal de ben de baykuslar gibi dusunmeye basladik. Bir: Bu evin kira kontrati Nisan ayinda bitiyor, erken cikarsak cok masrafi var. Iki: Turkiye`de sattigimiz evin parasini hala dolara cevirmemistik ve dolar surekli yukseliyordu. Uc: Mortgage Broker olarak kimi sececegiz, hangi bankadan kac para kredi cekecegiz Dort: Ne zaman ve nasil tasinacagiz. Iste boyle sorular kafamizi mesgul ederken bizim okulun veli toplantilari basladi. Her aksam saat 6`da eve gelmeye basladim. Derken bir gribe tutuldum ve sesim kisildi. Hic cikmiyor. Hayatimda ilk defa boyle oldu. Doktor bana iki gun rapor verdi ben de iki satir yazayim dedim.
Simdiki duruma bakarsak, mortgage broker ile gorustuk, adam bizim icin krediye basvurdu. Turkiye`den getirdigimiz para ile evin toplam fiyatinin ancak %20`sini karsilayabiliyoruz. Ustunu kredi cekecegiz arada devletin de aldigi yaklasik 16-20bin dolar tapu masrafi var. -oh!yazmasi bile zor!!!- 30 yillik verilen ev kredisi ile insallah burada ev sahibi olacagiz. Rakamlar kafanizi karistirdi ise soyle soyleyeyim. Haftalik 480 dolar kira veriyorduk simdi haftalik 566 dolar ev kredisi odeyecegiz ve kendi evimizi alacgiz, insallah! Tapu devir teslim islemleri yapilmadigi surece her sey olabiliyor, kredi red edilebilir falan filan. Henuz bir sey belli olmadigi icin biz de kimseye bir sey soylemedik. Sadece siteyi okuyanlar biliyor bu ev alma maceramizi yani:) 25 Eylul`de tapu ‘slemler’ tamamlanacak ve sonraki hafta da tasinacagiz eger her sey yolunda giderse. Evlerin mustakil olmasi tasinmayi cok kolaylastiriyor, merdiven in-cik derdi yok. Ortalama esyali 3 oda bir salon evi en fazla 5-6 saat icinde yukleyip oteki tarafa goturuyorlar. Yine de ben kolileme islerine basladim. Bu hafta sonu Ebru kursu verecegim, biraz da ona hazirlaniyorum.
Baska ne haberler verebilirim size? Turkiye`nin durumuna cok uzuluyoruz. Bir tek adamin kaprisi yuzunden ulkenin geldigi yeri aklimiz almiyor. Malesef o guzelim topraklarda yasayan aile ve akrabalarimizda da gozlemledigimiz umutsuzluk, karamsarlik bizi daha da uzuyor. Umuyoruz ulkemiz bu Tayyip belasindan kurtulur ve caldigi her kurusun hesabini bu cakma cumhurbaskanindan sorar.

Sydney

  

Sydney’e

Cumartesi ve Pazar Montessori Matematik kursum vardı. Cumartesi aksamı okulun gösterisinde gorevliydim ve de simdi (pazar gece Yarısı) Sydney’e uçuyoruz. Çarşamba geri döneceğiz.

Beden yorgun, kafa bitkin bu yazıya rastladım, paylaşıyorum 

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it.”

― Eckhart Tolle

Life can be hectic; sometimes chaos surrounds us in every imaginable direction.
But just because the world around us is in disarray, doesn’t mean the world within us has to be too.
That’s right, I’m saying there’s a way to stay sane in insane times. I’m saying you can get rid of all the insanity inside you created by others, the past, and uncontrollable events…
Just by being a simple witness of your thoughts.
It’s about sitting silently, and witnessing the thoughts passing through you. Just witnessing at first, not interfering and not even judging, because by judging too rapidly you have lost the pure witness. The moment you rush to say, “this is good” or “this is bad,” you have already jumped head first into the chaos.
It takes a little time to create a gap between the witnessing of thoughts and your reaction to them. Once the gap is there, though, you are in for a great surprise – that you are not the thoughts themselves, nor the chaos influencing them. You are the witness, a watcher, who’s capable of changing your mind and rising above the turmoil.
And this process of thought-watching is the very alchemy of true mindfulness. Because as you become more and more deeply rooted in witnessing, the chaotic thoughts start disappearing. You are thinking, but the mind is empty of senseless chatter.
That’s a moment of enlightenment – a moment that you become, perhaps for the first time, an unconditioned, sane, truly free human being.
And you can now begin the process of introducing new ideas that support your inner freedom, and continue to put your soul at ease. Here are nine such ideas…
1. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.
When you feel like you’re sweating and running in circles, understand that we all feel like this sometimes, especially when life’s demands are high and the work is challenging. This doesn’t mean you should give up. Make adjustments as necessary, but keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are not really running in circles; you are running upwards, gradually. The path is just a spiral set of steps… You have already climbed higher than you realize.
2. You are always right where you need to be to take your next step.
There’s absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress. All you ever have to decide is what to do next (just the next tiniest step). It really is this simple. You don’t have to have it all figured out to take this step and move forward. Just do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.
3. Mistakes and failures are the stepping-stones of growth and success.
Even when it doesn’t work out, it’s still necessary practice. And everything takes practice. So embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet. To be successful in the long run, you must fail sometimes. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all. In the end, those who don’t care that failure is inevitable are the ones that reach their dreams. (Read Daring Greatly.)
4. Smiling happens naturally when you complain less.
There is never a need to complain about life. Doing so changes nothing. Instead, spend your moments actually living its beauty. Find the wisdom and strength to embrace the present. If you’re being pulled in every direction by forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value most in life. What is important in your life is what you decide is important. Nothing can overwhelm you unless you let it.
5. Not everything needs an explanation.
Sometimes incredible things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, every step of the way, but sometimes it pays to simply have a little faith. Allow the universe to bless you in surprising and joyful ways.
6. You only truly have the things you have let go.
It may feel foreign at first, but all you really need, in life and in love, is to practice letting go. For holding on comes easily; you do not need to learn it. So ease up a bit. It’s OK to loosen your grip. We often hold on too tight for too long, without even thinking about it … without realizing that it’s not what we have when we hold on that counts, it’s what we have when we let go. What remains is what’s truly there. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
7. Relationships don’t have to be anywhere near perfect to be worth it.
It’s impossible to find someone who will never disappoint you or hurt you. No human being is perfect. Expecting them to be will always lead to painful disappointments. Know this, and go for ones worth the pain and effort. Honestly, without a little pain and effort, true joy and true love wouldn’t feel so good. So take the time and patience to work together to create something real and meaningful.
8. Hating another human being never helps.
It’s important to remember that no human being, when you understand his or her stories and desires, is worthless. No one’s life is nothing. Even the cruelest people, if you understand their hearts, had some generous act that redeems them, at least a tiny bit, from their sins. So walk away from them with peace, not hate, in your heart.
9. To forgive is to give yourself a chance to grow.
Forgiveness isn’t holding on to someone who hurt you; it’s coming to peace with what happened and moving forward with your life. So forgive those who have hurt you in the past, but even more than this, forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you. The instant you forgive, you’re at least one step ahead in the karma department, and one step ahead of everyone who’s still holding on to old grudges that are holding them back.
Closing Thoughts
It’s no coincidence that the ideas of presence and acceptance permeate through this post. Without them we miss life all together. I was reminded of this earlier today when I was chatting with an 82-year-old course/coaching student about regrets, and she started our chat session by saying (I’m sharing this with permission):
“Why didn’t I learn to accept and appreciate it all, and treat every day like it was the last time? Honestly, my biggest regret is how often I believed in tomorrow.”
May we all take heed to her words. And learn from the