Archive for April 15, 2012

İkinci el

Bahar temizligi’ne başladım. 2 kızın kuculmus kıyafetleri, artik oynamadiklari oyuncakları filan derken çantalar dolusu fazla eşya çıktı evden. İhtiyacı olan varsa veya ihtiyacı olan birilerini biliyorsanız lütfen bana e- posta atın.

Do good find good!

Today I filled the car trunk with 6 bags of small clothes, shoes and coats of my daughters. I just wanted to donate them to Nahil, the second hand shop of foundation to support women work. Since I cannot carry heavy things after the operation, I parked the car on the side of the street which was next to the shop. I wasn’t blocking the traffic in dact there was hardly any traffic on that street at that time of the day. I and my sister quickly took the bags out of the car and took them to the shop. We emptied the bags and wanted to go out. The lady there wanted to give us a receipt. I said it is ok, I don’t need but she insisted. When we get out of the shop we saw the police was towing my car. My car was hanging in the air. They didn’t put the car on the tow yet. We ran there and explained the situation. Of course they didn’t care. He said I need to pay the fine. I said I didn’t have any money with me right now and he said something, too. He was in the huge tow and I was next to it trying to raise myself on my toes and to hear what he was saying. Finally they left. I think I need to pay the fine as soon as possible. Maybe I blame the wrong parties but I think I am not going to donate anything again. Do good find good sounds rubbish at the moment. I am so happy that I am leaving because they don’t make enough parking places and we have to get into the narrow, dangerous, dark so called car parks under the crummy buildings and if we don’t we are fined! Fine, I am out!




On Monday I decided to visit my doctor for the treatment of the varicose veins in my right leg. I was just planning to talk about the cure. My doctor suggested a small operation called RPS. I laid on the bed and he cut the back of my knee for 2 cm. and injected something into the vein to block it. It was ok. As soon as I stood up I had visual disturbances. I went out because I had to walk for one hour. People’s faces, ads, colors,everything was mixed. I couldn’t read any piece of writing or I couldn’t recognize any of the faces. After one hour my vision was better but then I started to have a headache. Luckily I met with my sister after my walk and we headed for home together. As I was driving I tried to talk to my sister. The words that I pronounced weren’t the ones that I wanted to say. My sister was talking but what she was saying wasn’t making any sense either. I recognized the words alone but couldn’t bring them together to understand the overall meaning. It was so weird. I and my sister started to feel scared. The suffixes that I used , my pronunciation and order of the words that I was using got mixed. Suddenly my right arm and right side of my face tingled. I immediately pulled over. We called my husband and he took me to the nearest hospital.I was shivering there without a reason. There,the doctors asked for a brain scan. It was clean and the doctor said it can be a kind of migraine attack which was triggered by stress or fear. I cannot say I was under pressure during the sclerotheraphy but still something happened. I am not going to forget that moment. My brain was out of control, it was scary! My mouth spoke but I didn’t mean it. I was puzzled listening what I was saying. Later I talked to my mum and I found out that she also had the same type of migraine attacks and she shared her experiences with me. 20120411-182943.jpgShe was angry because we didn’t tell her about it in the first place. In short it was so scary. I wish I never find myself inside it again.


Life is hard. When I finish at work I ask myself how I am going to get home? I am exhausted. When I ring the bell and girls open the door to me. Their curious eyes give me life again. They quickly take my coat off to make sure that I don’t go out again. Then they dig into my bag. Then we start chasing each other, playing ” tag” in our 3,5 meters long corridor. And at night, I watch them sleeping. It feels different to stare at their faces when they are not telling you something or not moving. Pure simple beauty… Thank you girls for bringing joy to my life, we love you…


Tulay Ustundag

She is one of the most precious people that Turkey has. She is an academician at Hacettepe University, Education Faculty. My husband Kemal met her in a creative drama course that he took in January. Since then he has been talking about Tulay Hoca and her sincerity. Today, I had the chance to meet her in the flesh. This morning we had a very nice breakfast in Kuzguncuk with her and some other friends from creative drama group number 41. 41 is a lucky number in Turkey and today was one of the luckiest days of my life. I was about to lose my faith in existence of such nice people. I felt like I knew her for a long time, she was like someone from my family.



She is passionate about modern thought, she is lively, optimistic, energetic and so positive that a couple of hours spent with her made me feel like I spent a day in paradise. It was such a big joy listening to her ideas. Positive thinking, how to fight against ignorance, social psychology, being an individual in a society… We discussed different issues. I think I missed being a student again. She had collected pairs of postcards from various places and created a game for kids. İpek and Defne had lovely time playing games with her.  She emphasized the importance of first 7 years in terms of creativity in a child’s life. According to her, it is games not toys which develop the brain. She advised to hide most of the toys that we have in our house and take them out periodically after some time . Kids will be in different developmental stages and they will find new ways to play with them, she said.   I learned many things from her interaction with my kids. İpek and Defne liked her very much, too.  Now I want to do nice things for my country, I want to warn people against the dangers of bigotry. I am looking forward to meeting her again. Long live Tülay Hoca, we love you so much:)